Mother's Day Ritual
by lilballerette10
Summary: Dean has a Mother's Day Ritual, one that he's done every year since their mom passed away. Takes place during season 3.


Sam was laying on his side facing Dean's bed, pretending to be asleep like he did on this day every year, at 6 am on the dot.

Dean was standing by the window looking up at the clouds like he did on this day every year, at 6 am on the dot.

"Happy Mother's Day Mom," Dean whispered. Then after a few seconds "Thank you… I love you Mom."

Sam would watch as Dean stood there by the window for a few minutes, just starring up at the sky. For someone who didn't believe in angels or God, Dean sure showed Sam that he believed in Heaven every time he did this on this special day of the year, at 6 am on the dot.

Sam knew that he probably shouldn't be watching, that this was probably something private for Dean, but he couldn't help it. The first time Sam noticed what his brother did on Mother's Day, he was about 5, and even then he knew how important it was to Dean. On this day every year, at 6 am on the dot, Sam got to see a side of his brother that he hides away the other 364 days of the year. It breaks his heart to hear the pain in Dean's voice when he utters those words because deep down he knows he's responsible for that pain, that he's the reason their mom is dead, but it also shows him how much their mom must have loved them. For someone like Dean, who would sometimes forget _his_ own birthday and for someone who can never get up early, to wake up at 6 am every year on this day, just to say that to their mom, showed Sam how special their mom must have been. And he couldn't help but be grateful to her for showing Dean the kind of love that he truly, truly, deserved. Sam never really knew why Dean thanked his mom every year, he figured it was probably for showing them the kind of love that all kids deserve to grow up with.

Dean knew that Sam was awake. He always knew when Sam was awake. When Dean was about 9 he realized that Sam was awake and watching him every time this day rolled around, and at the exact same time. Their dad would be fast asleep but he knew Sammy was awake. It was a little trick he had learned when they were younger. Sam's breathing changes slightly when he's awake, ever so slightly though that if it was anyone else they probably wouldn't be able to tell, hell, even their dad couldn't tell. But Dean could…he always could. But every year on this day at 6 am on the dot, Dean didn't mind that his brother was awake. Dean was kind of glad that he was, it gave him a sense of comfort that although their mom was not there, she had given her life to protect the one thing in this world that Dean couldn't live without.

The day went on as it usually did on this day of the year, Sam would wake up around 7 am and pretend like he had been asleep this whole time, Dean would already be up and pretend like he didn't know that Sam had been awake since 6 am. They did this every year, and had been doing this for the past 20 years or so (minus the years that Sam was away at college). However, today was going to be different. Dean figured since he only had a few more weeks to live, he'd finally let Sam in on a few details about this day. He knew Sam wanted him to talk about this day with him, since afterall, he was all into that feelings and emotions crap, so he figured today would be the best day for that, since this would be his last Mother's Day and all.

**A FEW HOURS LATER IN THE IMPALA**

They were driving down a long stretch of road, on their way to the next hunt. Sam was starring out the window at the trees passing by.

"I started doing it the year after mom passed," started Dean as he glanced over at Sam.

Sam immediately turned his attention to Dean. Too stunned to talk he just gaped at his older brother and shifted ever so slightly so that he was facing Dean. Dean couldn't help but smirk at the shock on Sam's face.

"You had just turned 1 a couple days before, and me, you and dad were sleeping in the same room at this crappy motel. So I woke up at 6 and I carried you to the window and we'd wish mom a Happy Mother's Day. Well, actually, I'd say Happy Mother's Day and you would gurgle and drool on me," Dean said as he let out a laugh. "I always figured it was baby language for "Happy Mother's Day."

Sam let out a snort and smiled. He stayed quiet so that Dean would continue.

"We did that for a few years, I'd carry you to the window and we'd say Happy Mother's Day to mom, but then you got older, and heavier," replied Dean with a smirk. "That should've been my first clue that you were going to turn into a sasquatch."

Sam couldn't help but laugh. "Nice Dean," he retorted with a smile.

Dean smiled and continued. "As I got older, it just sort of became like a habit you know. And usually dad was never up by then or he wouldn't be home, and you'd be sleeping, well until you turned 5 and pretended to be sleeping," smirked Dean.

Sam smiled at Dean. He should've known, there was no way that Dean wouldn't be aware that he was awake.

"Sorry," said Sam. "I know it's something you wanted to do in private."

"Naw, it was kinda comforting knowing you were awake," he replied with a smile.

Both boys were silent for a few minutes before Sam spoke up.

"Hey Dean, why 6 am?" Sam asked curiously.

"Before…before mom died, every Mother's Day, me and dad would wake up at 5 and make mom breakfast, and then we'd take it up to her at 6 and we'd all eat on the bed. We even did it after you were born, you were only a few days old, so you couldn't exactly help us with breakfast," laughed Dean. "But dad would be carrying you while I was mixing the batter. That Mother's Day after you were born Sammy…that was our favourite one."

Sam couldn't help but smile at the serenity in Dean's voice and the sincerity in his smile. Sam could just picture that image, him, Dean, and their dad in the kitchen making breakfast for their mom. It broke his heart to know that they never had that again.

"Anways," Dean conintued. "That's why 6 am."

Sam nodded his head. It was hard to imagine that they ever had a normal life, but every time Dean would fill him in on something from their childhood when their mom was alive, it showed him what an amazing life they had had before he turned 6 months old. He had one more thing to ask Dean, but he didn't know if he was pushing it, but he had to know.

"Hey Dean"

"Hmm..."

"Why do you thank mom every Mother's Day?" he asked as he watched Dean carefully. "Is it just to thank her for being such a great mom?"

"No, that's what the 3 words after that are for," he said as he smiled at Sam. "The thank you…the thank you is for saving you from the demon that night," he replied as he looked over at Sam.

Sam sat there wide eyed as he felt the tears begin to well up.

"What…" was all he could muster up.

"Yeah, I mean, you know I don't blame you one bit for what happened to her, but I always thank her for saving you… I mean if it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't have a pain in the ass little brother," he replied with a smirk.

"Dean…I…" Sam was speechless. His brother had been thanking their mom every year for saving him…him.

Dean quickly put his hand up.

"Dude, no chick flick speeches please," replied Dean smirking.

Sam let out a laugh and sat there for a few seconds, letting everything sink in.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy."

"Do you think about her a lot?" he asked looking at his big brother.

Dean just starred straight ahead as he began to feel the tears well in his eyes, he just starred at the road in front of him and said nothing.

Sam figured it was just too much for Dean to think about so he slowly turned to look back outside, greatful to Dean for letting him in on his Mother's Day tradition.

"Everyday," Dean replied as he stepped on the gas pedal.


End file.
